Beltran and Fatty

The new rumor is that Beltran is being traded to Pittsburg, to play back-up QB for the Steelers. Bad Joke? Not funny? So is all the "Beltran might be...." bullshit flying around the city of fountains within the last couple of months. I say this: if you're going to trade Beltran or Beltran wants to be traded, FUCKING TRADE HIM. Beltran is good, but we have Matt Stairs. As long as we never trade Stairs, I believe, Tony, I believe. Matthew Wade Stairs dabbles in making beautiful grabs in the outfield when he's not at the plate DH'n crushing balls. But, you know why I like Stairs? Because he is relatively fast, he can hit, he can make great plays all while he is fat and nasty. It's not just that though. We have all these pretty boys like A-Rod and Derek "American Asspress sellout" Jeter that borderline pop star status, when guys like Stairs are looked past by the media because they don't date Mariah Carey. Stairs is balding, chubby guy that plays for the love and probably a hot dog here and there. How can you not relate to a Royals player that gets as excited about buck hot dog night as much as the fans do. Plus, nothing shows more heart than a fat guy hauling ass for catch up with a deep ball down the foul line. Here's to you Matthew Wade Stairs. You have a fan club president elect waiting to toast a dollar dog with you.

Cheers.