Mary-Kate sinks an eight-ball

The day we all knew would come is finally here. Mary-Kate Olsen, who was admitted to the get-fat-farm for anorexia, does not have anorexia at all. Turns out, everyone's favorite monkey has paid a visit to the back of everyone's favorite Olsen. Yes, it's true. Mary-Kate isn't in a clinic, she's in rehab for a more than recreational coke habit. Raise your hand if you wish you were a coke dealer. That's good. We all knew this would happen ever since the Full House days. Let's not forget Bob Saget's cameo in 'Half Baked'. Remember "I used to suck dick for cocaine!" You can put your hand down now, Shanks. C'mon, Uncle Joey was a total snow blower. Cut-It-Out. More like Cut-It-Up. Act like you know, bitches.