Learn to Knock

Earlier, I mentioned that L-Train's momma had stumbled across The North End™ by way of Google when she for some reason decided to Google her son's name. And now, we at TNE almost ruined Cowboy Don's few and far between chances with a woman. Barwig's friend used Google to check out some info on ol' Donnie B. What she found may have shocked her. There was an association with Donnie's name and dog rape. Okay, now I tried to reverse the roles here and imagine if I were her and I found Donnie attractive (ooooh those calves) and wanted to possibly go out with Donnie and I found a bunch of stuff about Donnie saying he was a dog rapist. How would I react? First, I would probably read a little more of the site. Hopefully, by then, I would realize that The North End™ is a blog about a bunch of friends and their retarded adventures. Along the way they make fun of each other. Then, I would realize that Agdeez is way cooler than Barwig and kick the cowboy to tha curb, yo. Seriously, though. These are jokes. If I call someone gay, chances are they are not gay. If I say someone raped a dog, chances are it never happened. If something sounds so outlandish and disturbing, it is probably not true. Unless, I or dShanks makes a point to say that it was. The NATION™ is a nation of good people. We have a good time, but we don't harm others or ourselves, physically or verbally. Not everything your read on the internet is true. Especially here. One thing I said from the beginning was that this site was started because when we hang out, we make fun of each other. Some people have moved away and miss some of the crazy shit that happens. This is their chance to still be in the loop. To still laugh at the fact that we still call Donnie, Cowboy Don. To laugh at Miguel for puking in a failed attempt to drink a gallon of milk in an hour. To make fun of Anderson's hair line. We are not trying to ruin people's lives. It's a joke, people. And just so everyone knows, I'm not coming down on anyone, I just want to make it very clear to anyone who comes across this site that while this blog says some crazy shit, I have no doubt in saying that the people mentioned on this site are some of the most down to earth, funny people. Except for Hart. He's just fucking nuts.

So, the moral of the story is this. Welcome to The North End™. We're not perfect, but we're better than you. And by the way, if you're going barge in on The North End™ with Google, don't be shocked by what you find here. Or at least, learn to knock.

What up, Transbuddha? Where you been at?

cheers.

This week of the suck.

One of the greatest things about blogging is the ability to steal other's material with little or no consequence. Our new contributor has been quoted as saying, "this is of the suck." I like that, so I will take that. So, it's Friday and time for the new feature. "Top 5 Reasons This Week was of the Suck." Okay it's not the best sounding shit on erf, but… well… but, shut up.

Top 5 Reasons This Week Was of the Suck:

5) Football - Well, we all knew the Chiefs were, well… Chiefs of the suck, but this week just drove it home. We were kicking ass and as usual quite literally dropped the ball against the Chargers. But, hey at least Dante Hall finally got to throw up that X, signifiying that he finally returned a kick this year. Ah yes, Dante you are an Ex-Factor. Maybe next year. As if the Chiefs were bad enough, this week shined a spotlight on the very empty hole that is Wildcats Football team. Again, we all knew that the cats were of the suck and were going no where, but it was the first week of the off season for the cats. While at the same time there's still like a month left of college football. One last thing. The Mighty Ten Yard Taint and their coach (myself) suffered a season ending loss to Luke Trotta's Eastside Turd Tossers, thus ending my run to the League of Extraordinary Crack Monkeyz Championship Belt. It was a good run boys. McNabb, Chris Brown, Edge, the Raven Defense, and good ol Morten Anderson, all I can say is thanks. You guys are MVPs of my team and my heart. Todd Heap can suck a cock and so can Trent Green. You fuckers are the of suck.

4) Barwig's Computer - As I'm writing this, he keeps telling me that he can't see the recent comments in response to his "busting" Derrick comment. What's the most of the suck is that, Donnie installs medical software at hospitals. It's scary to me that his computer can't process jokes about beating off, yet we expect it to save lives. BRRRRRRRRRR…

3) Barry Bonds - Honestly, I don't care if athletes use steroids. I think that I like watching exciting sports. If steroids make it exciting. So be it. So, Barry, if you used steroids become a better player, I can't hate ya. Hey, I drink to become a better lover, so, who am I to judge. What makes Mr. Bonds of the suck is this comment about his trainer that was giving him "mysterious pills that made Barry Bonds' muscles bigger, cock smaller, and back acne cool" :
Bonds said that Anderson had so little money that he "lives in his car half the time." Asked by a juror why he didn't buy "a mansion" for his trainer, Bonds answered: "One, I'm black, and I'm keeping my money. And there's not too many rich black people in this world. There's more wealthy Asian people and Caucasian and white. And I ain't giving my money up."
What are we in a contest? Who gives a shit about what race is wealthy? All that money you have doesn't mean that you're a landmark to American society. Stupid people usually part with their money so, Barry, solve a physics problem. You can't because you hit baseballs for all that money you have. One more thing Barry, can you explain the differences between Caucasions and whites? Nice comment, stupid.

2) Brian Hinel - Actually, I liked Hinel. He was a cool guy. But, when MJ23 got robbed this week I thought of all the great heists in history and his name came to mind. I bet he's got some fancy Jordans on right now.


1) Snow - I fucking hate snow. It's cold, it get's your car dirty, it's get's your clothes wet, it cuts out your power for a day, and it knocks your fucking cable line down. I sound like a baby right now, right? Guess what, FUCK YOU, that's what. Snow is fine if you're sledding or drunkenly pissing your name in your yard. But, other than that, it is completely of the fucking suck.

I hope that everyone who reads this realizes that we at The North End™ don't lead negative lives. We lead hate-filled, spiteful, loving lives. I know it's an odd combination, but it works. So, I 'll see everyone for Luke Trotta's 43rd birthday bash this Saturday. It will be a doozer, trust me. The streets are buzzing right now with the word that Master J-Kwon Gee may be seen in public with one of his suitors. This is bold move on the part of JG Money to actually start out the night with a woman. The best part is who the mystery woman is. I know who it is. Do you? If you don't, we'll see you Saturday, you'll know then. Truly buzz-worthy.

cheers, bitches.

Mission: Accepted

The invitation was accepted by a new contributor who has informed me that they will make themself known later today. Stay tuned. I hope this was a good idea.

On another note, if anyone comes across any body selling a TV, DVD player, 90 DVDs, a pair of Jordans, a playstation, or a picture of Lori, let me or Miguel know. We're in the market. No joking about it, MJ23's apartment was robbed yesterday. My gut tells me that there were probably some items in there that Big Sleep is embarrassed to tell anyone were stolen. The leather man saddle? That's got to be the hardest to part with. To think that there is some crack head out there having all the fun with YOUR saddle. All joking aside, getting jacked blows. We all have our stories. I've had my car broken into twice, in which I've lost over one hundred CDs, a subwoofer with amp, one Miami Vice late 80s cell phone, and a window. Please feel free to post a comment with your story of being robbed. It will help MJ23 feel better in his time of need. And please, Anderson, no one wants to hear your story of being robbed of your virginity by that mule in that freak farming accident, again. Save it.

So, while we wait for the new contributor of The North End™ to reveal themself, enjoy this. The best comedy comes when you're doing something stupid and you're the only one that doesn't know it. I'm just glad K-State doesn't have any stupid rituals when our football team does something good.

cheers.

Stop Effing Crying

The status of The North End™ was summed up for me last night with one word. Boo. Boo, indeed. Things have been fucking boring around these parts lately. Why you ask? Maybe you didn't ask, but I'll tell you anyway.

Too many rules have been placed upon me. You know, when The North End™ started, it was going to be restriction free. If there was something somewhat funny or interesting to say, it was said. True, I have to use some judgement as to what we want out there as public domain. Hell, just the other day, Trotta's mom stumbled across TNE through Google and called Luke to ask him if he knew that his life was being cronicled by a guy named Agdeez. There are certain members of the Nation™ that are telling ME not to post certain things. Listen, if there is anything to learned from TNE, it's that we crack on each other because we're all friends here, we can take it. We've messed with each other's feelings for as long as we've all known each other. True, every once in a while we'll get some anonymous post that will go for the throat. There's nothing we can do about that. It happens. In the end, we're trying to have some fun here, as well as keep people that aren't in Kansas City in on the jokes and odd situations that we've been able to produce on each other since the glory days in Manhattan. Jokes and odd situations that we still laugh about where ever we've ended up. Detroit, Chicago, Wichita, Kansas City, St. Louis, Colorado, where ever you are right now, you know you still laugh about the bullshit we've seen and done. Why stop? Julio has always talked about making a movie or sit-com based on these things. Well, it's probably never going to happen that way. The North End™ is probably as close as we're going to come to letting the general public in on the funny shit that happens to us.

So, what do we do. I have finally realized that I can't keep this up on my own. I'm am only one person and I get busy at work sometimes and can't post as often as I would like. Here's the remedy. I am extending an invitation to someone to help me keep The North End™ fresh. I may extend more, I'm not sure sure, yet. For now, it's one person. I'm not telling who it is, yet. I'll let it be a surprise when their first post comes out, assuming that they accept. In fact, I'm going to do it right now.

See you in a few.