Nobody move.

Shaking the dork tree and Tree Bark Toilet Paper:
This last weekend, I was told that having a blog wasn't cool anymore. Even though she was joking (i think?) I have to agree somewhat. It is slightly knobbish. At least when The North End™ started, it had a purpose. Now, it serves a new, less interesting purpose. I just got to New York and I know that some of you have never been. Some of you have been, but on vacation. Doesn't count. No fair. You have to live in P. Diddy's city, in order to be stained by it. I think I'm starting to get dirty and it's starting to show. Yesterday, a guy from work said to me, "New York looks good on you." I'm not sure if that's good or bad. I was a bit Merle Haggard from the night before.

I won't bore you with telling about my first month and half up here. Because, really it was a lot growing pains. Not knowing where the hell I was half the time, not knowing where to go if I needed something as simple as paper towels. I had to resort to doing most of my shopping at Whole Foods, where buying toilet paper when it's made of organic tree bark is painful in more ways than one. I had a lot of time to sit and think about things. You know reflect, get philosophical and stuff. I realized that a lot of you guys are bastards. Kidding, of course. Except Anderson. Anderson truly is an asshole. I didn't realize how much fun you guys were. I took a lot of the stuff we did for granted. So, shed a tear and shut up. I'm done with you. Now you'll sit and listen because I know you have nothing better to do. C'mon, you don't. Admit it.

Still Mexcian, Wichita, or Stuntman:
There are some things that have not changed. I still play poker every week. I still suck at poker every week. I really don't know why I keep trying. I always joked in Kansas City about losing, even though I would win sometimes. But, let's not forget the night that I lost so bad that the check book was cracked. I think Potts and MJ23 have a time share on my soul as a result of that night. Rest assured that I still suck at hold 'em. How I long for a game of Seven-Card-Stud-Follow-the-Bitch-Queen-of-Spades-Kills-It staring at a shirtless Johnny Stunts misdeal. Fuck, a game of Spades would do.

Another thing that hasn't changed is that I can't seem to stop meeting people from the Wichita area. I used to joke that all my friends were South American or from Witchita or both. There are exceptions, but not many. I thought that I literally knew everybody from Wichita. I guess not. The San Francisco bug seems to have bitten Julio because I was informed today that he wants to give my number to a guy that his brother knows that lives in Brooklyn. I'm not making any assumptions. It was just funny when Julio, in San Francisco, IMs me asking if he can give my number to a guy that is trying to make guy friends in NY. Again, no assumptions, just funny. I also met a girl from Derby last week. That's right, the city that Wig built. Thank God, too. Everytime someone said Derby, all I could think of was a drunken Cowboy Don yelling, "HAAAUGGHH!" Thankfully, I have a much more pleasant face to associate with the Derb.


Where Do We Go From Here?
So really, you guys have no reason to believe that I will keep this site as updated as I did way back when. Understand, that I would really love to, but seeing as how I have a job that has a contract on my life right now, I'm going to get busy every once and a while. Why should you come back, then? Well, consider this an on-going postcard. Just because I moved doesn't mean that stupid shit stopped happening to me. I realized this Saturday night when coming out of a club, I walked face first into a glass door. It was pretty bad. Nose, teeth, all made contact. That's when it literally hit me. The show must go on. This time, the pictures will be much better. Trust me.

Cheers,
_ag


Next time on The North End™:

• Rubbing Elbows
  
• How to Lopez-proof NYC
• Brooklyn's Finest