A Turn for the Tired.

Boo-yah-ka-sha!!!

Severe Lopez Advisory:
Word on the street right now is that there is a Choad on the ground. Last night at something like 10:00 or 11:00 pm the Chinaken touched down in NYC. Right now, I'm awaiting some sort of contact. While I wait, let's talk about something here. I've thought a bit about what I should do with Lopez during his stay here. How is Lopez going to influence this city? Here's my run down.

• Thanks to the hipster culture in this city, Lopez will be able wander freely through the Lower East Side wearing his favorite Blurple shirt and start a revolution. A year from now, we are going to see the rise of Blurple as "the new black." Julio will have a Blurple RL Polo Dress Shirt, Johnny will have a Blurple Mock Turtle Neck, and Hart will have a Blurple Ski Mask.
  
• One thing that Lopez has to be aware of is that NYC is not Westport. If you're standing in line to get into a place, two things are apparent. One is that you're probably at a velvet rope type place. If they say they're not letting you in, move on. Because, two, the bouncers are the size of Lou Ferrigno with that disease that Rocky Dennis had. If you swing at them, they will crush you.
  
• Not many Dolphins fans here, so leave the MARINO jersey in the case.
• NO ONE here has heard of Cabela's. Maybe one or two people. I've been met with some interesting looks when explaining Cabela's to people. It goes well until I tell them it's by the NASCAR speedway, from there I'm usually asked to leave. Point is if anyone asks where you work, tell them you're a bounty hunter. Not that Cabela's sucks ass, it doesn't. It's just that you have four days here and you don't want to spend all of it explaining Cabela's.
  
• Good News, Lopez!! It's nearly impossible for you to get another DUI here!
  

Alright, Jaime. Be good.

Tonight, Tonight.......
As much as I love the Scroatpez, I can't start the safari tonight. We have all weekend. Tonight, I'm going to this place called Piano's (never been, hear it's nice) to check out my room mate shred and drop science on the MIC. But, by Maggie's accord, she doesn't "shred", even though it's my opinion that even if you just play rhythm, kick some shit over like the kick drum or your bass player, and people will think you're fucking nuts. Okay, I'm not sure what it's like. But, I've found that the less someone talks about their band, the better that band is. And Maggie hasn't said much so I'm pretty pumped to hear it. You can check out the site here at www.daybreakthis.com

That's all I got for now, bitches.

Uno.
_ag