The Legend of the Back Door Ninja®

Ninjas have captured the imaginations of millions of people around the world. Beleived to have originated in Japan in sixteenth or sventeenth century, ninjas were trained at birth in the art of stealth, combat, and deception. Today, we can only hope catch a glimpse of a ninja in a bad movie starring Eric Roberts or on The Real Ultimate Power Dot Net. Long gone is the mystique and honor of being a ninja. Or is it? This is the legend of the Back Door Ninja®. In the year of our lord 2002, there was a well-to-do land owner named J-Quan Gee. J Gee and his two vassals lived in a ranch style home that over looked the mysterious Valley of the Misquito. While Master J-Quan Gee believed in mingling with his vassals, he lived separated from them in his basement chamber with the only exit to fresh air being the back door facing the Valley of the Misquito. The basement chamber was filled with many secrets, passage ways to clean clothes, and spirits. It was not uncommon for the trained attack dog with atrophy, Mazzie to bark at what seemed like nothing, but may have been…… The Back Door Ninja®. One night, one of J-Quan Gee's vassals had come home from his travels to find a mysterious black vehicle in front of the ranch. He went inside to find that the house was quiet and undisturbed. Feeling that he was alone, he ventured to the basement chamber to play with the magical game box that so often did. In the middle of a fiery game of Madden 2005, the vassal heard the soft sounds of a woman's voice. Knowing that the basement chamber was a den of mystery and intrigue he ignored the sounds and went about his business of defeating the Atlanta Falcons. Suddenly, he heard the sounds of what sounded like a battle between two warriors and sounded like the female was winning. Could it be the Back Door Ninja®? "No," he thought to himself, "I am alone and the Back Door Ninja® is only legend." He turned back to magic picture machine to finish off the Falcons, when suddenly J-Quan Gee's chamber door opened. Afraid to look, the vassal nervously kept his eyes on the game. For several second the vassal breathed heavily in fear until he worked up the courage turn around. He turned to find Master J-Quan Gee standing in his chamber doorway, the back door leading to the Valley of the Misquito had been opened and was slowly closing by it's own weight. "What's up, dude?" J Gee said smiling. The vassal sighed with relief that it was only his master. "Dude, I thought I was…" before the vassal could finish, a shadow moved across the window facing the Valley of the Misquito. His breath was sucked out of his body with fear. "Dude, what was that?" he asked. "What was what?" J-Quan Gee replied as he walked toward Bath Chamber. The vassal casually paused his game and when the door to the bath chamber closed, he rushed to the upper level of the ranch style home and looked for the mysterious black vehicle that he saw before. It was gone. The Back Door Ninja® had struck again.
No one knows the true identity of the Back Door Ninja® and Master J-Quan Gee denies her exsistence. Only once has anyone been confronted by the ninja in one of her attempts to escape undetected. It produced an awkward moment in which the frightened vassal that was confronted by her could only say "Hey" to which she replied "Hey" and then she disappeared in a cloud of smoke only reveal Master J-Quan Gee standing in his quarters as usual. Many attempts have been made to photograph the ninja to prove her exsistence, but the pictures came out too dark because her ninja powers are said to include to the ability to alter pictures with her mystique. Only Master J-Quan Gee knows the truth and has apparently vowed to keep his ninja a secret. But, the vassals know that the Legend of the Back Door Ninja® is not just a legend, she is real.